Come Back, when you can.

In love, it is better to know and to be disappointed than to be know and always wonder.

it sucks, when you know that you need to let go but you can’t, 

because you’re still waiting for the miracle to happen.


The moment you know that you are being REPLACED.

The moment when you can actually feel the pain in ur chest from hearing something that breaks ur heart. 
Sometimes i wish i could hurt u like the way u hurt me,
but i know if i had the chance to, 
i WOULDN'T.

i feel that i am waiting for something that is not going to happen....

 I tell myself, I’ll wait for you, 

because honestly, I don’t want anyone else.

At the same time, I am so tired of wanting ppl that don’t want me in their life.

 Every day I tell myself I need to get over you, 

but every night I find myself thinking abt hw much I want you back.

I make u believe in love, and u gave it to other girls. 

Should I hate you for tat ? No, i don’t hate u, i am just disappointed.

U meet thousands of people, and none of them really affects you, 

and u meet the one person, 

 and ur life changed forever. 

Sometimes the people we’ve known for a short amount of time have the biggest impact on our lives,

 even more than those we’ve known forever. 

There is always the one special that no matter what they've done on u, 

u still can’t let them go. 

You know it’s meant to be even the times you can’t stand them; they’re the only person on ur mind. Sometimes, you just gotta forgive people simply becoz u still want them in ur life. 

Sometimes, you just gotta accept that people can only be in ur heart, not in ur life. 

I am not afraid to try again, I’m just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.

I was thinking and questioning myself, if u are mine now,

if u are here with me,
would I still the one for u?
Why did God playing such a fool on me?
Why does god let me meet u, fall in love with u, planned to let u leaves me for once,
and allow u to come bck for 2^nd time, and leaving me again?
If he don’t know how much I love u, or he is giving me a challenge to test our faith on our relationship?
And why did you simply doesn’t care about me anymore and trying to let me go, forcing me to give up,
when I had been putting so many efforts to maintain it? I cant handle this again and again…

Just becoz I trying to get over u, 

doesn’t mean there aren’t days when all the feelings just come rushing back. 

One day, if I meet you again in real,

 I cannot promise how would my feeling goes, what I am going to do on you.

 But I have to believe that if two people are meant to be together, 

eventually they’ll find their way back to each other.

Whatever happened to us, you’ll always have a place in my heart. 

Don’t get me wrong, you still mean the world to me. 

I love u, rida. i really love u.

PLEASE,  COME BACK,

WHEN YOU CAN.

Hurtful words, from dad.

Last week,
i get some extra commission from my internship programme from the eveny company i worked for.
RM 250 extra and a total of RM 750 for my awesome July,
the first person tat i wishes to share with is Rida,
and second person is my father.
it had been long time that i tell myself :

yea. my biggest wishes in my life,
becoz i had been feeling so guilty that i had spend so many money of my dear father these years,
he is working hard everyday to earn for us,
and i am spending his money everyday.
so, he need to be reward =)

he called me at night, i can smell his happiness and some proud feeling toward me.
RM 250, it is a very tiny amount for him , but at least i am telling him, i could do something !





----------------------------- // --------------------------------





i come back to kampar and ipoh ytd night,
stopped by kampar for a dinner with my gang of buddies at Kampar Pasar.

Kampar Pasar 猪肠粉 and 叉烧糯米饭 are still yummy-licious like before !

My lovely myvi car bumper is spoiled,
gotta service my car the next morning.
father had reminded me to bring along the black oil to the car factory and asked them to use it instead of theirs, to save some money.

the next morning , i had a breakfast with mum.
Har Mee is just yummy delicious !!!!
i really love ipoh,
i love all the foods so much...
i forgot to take a photo for the Har Mee,
the places is : 新东区小食中心 near east garden,
another Highly recommended breakfast and lunch =)






so next,
here comes the main topic that i wish to share with my bloggie.
i brought my car to service after the great breakfast and guess what,
i had totally FORGOT abt the BLACK OIL.

my father is home after i dropped my car for service ,
he shouted at me and questioning me why i forgot to bring it to the factory.
it is not a normal way of scolding,
it is SCREAMING, PISSED OFF with HURTFUL words.

"以为你老板加你薪水，有几厉害啊！
叫你做少少东西都做不到，生你出来做什么！"
(ok, i had written and filter it with a polite version.)

the most painful words is when he compared my achievement with a small mistake tat i done.

summore, the car factory is just somewhere 10 min from my house,
i can ask my brother to help me to deliver it to tat place,
why he just cant cool down and talk with me nicely?

it was just a SMALL MISTAKE for me.
wad did i done ?!
i didnt hurt anyone kill anyone or done anything that may affects my family,
i just FORGOTTEN something.
haaaloo.
i dont understand why did he pissed off at me.
i dont understand why he used such hurtful words on me without considering my feeling.
when i thought i done something for him,
he is like telling me : 
" ACTUALLY UR SOMETHING IS NOTHING, I DONT APPRECIATE THAT,
U CAN EVEN DO SOMETHING I ASK U TO DO. "



am i tat worst like wad u are saying ?
i CRIED.

The way i cried with lost of control,
scared myself as well.
i usually cried out loud when i faced relationship issue with boy friend.

i am already 21st years old,
how could i cried like someone who has mentally disorder,
or a kids who couldn't get a toy from their parents....

i am too kind and lovely for my family and everyone,
and i always wish to get back the same from them.

when they dont meet my expectation,
i am feeling so so so bad.

start from today onwards,
i gotta keep a distance and try to meet them as least as possible.
past experienced had making me feeling too bad and i think is time to change and protect myself against this.

我很的很想每次回到家，
每个人都像donut那么想念我，那么疼我，那么在乎我。
但是为什么我的家总是没有人，只有一个狗在陪我。
有时候连找一点干粮午餐吃都没有。

我真的很想爱家，但是这样子，我连爱的机会都么有。
算吧。
5年后也只是嫁出去的女孩，
到时才建立我梦想的 - 家。=)



btw, here is a picture of my baby donut of the day:

i love him soooo much.

he need a full grooming.
but i dont have a car to bring him there now. hemmmm.

i am someone who depend and rely on my MYVI little car alot, and too much.
i NEED car ALOOOOT.


by the way,
there is a best best friend of mine - CINDY, going to get married soon.
Best wishes to her and ngau zai (her husband).
i love u, cindy =)
祝福你，生个肥肥白白的小宝宝，
婚姻永远幸福美满。

she had invited me as Ji Mui for her wedding, yooohooo =D 
the first time ever in my life !!!!
Ngau Zai, 你准备好了吗？ XD

here is some beautiful wedding pictures of them:

Wedding is Wonderful, Perfect, Romantic stage of our life.

when i would be next ?
haha, probably 26 or 27years old ... =)

if, 
we could meet again.



last but not least,
please call me :

GWEN.

GWENDOLYN.

GWENDOLYN CHIN HUI XIN =)

it is my new english nickname ! =D