2012年9月25日星期二

"伊卡洛斯的墜落"




《Landscape with the fall of Icarus》

by Pieter Bruegel 1558








希臘神話中 
Icarus的父親為他用蠟和羽毛製作了一雙翅膀 
再三的告訴他不能太靠近太陽 
不能飛太高
但驕傲的Icarus沒有聽從他父親.
越飛越高 
最終墜落大海.


這是一幅很諷刺的畫

畫中沒有把焦點放在墜落後的Icarus 
而是把焦點放於默默耕耘的農夫
不細心看 
絕對不會看到Icarus其實在右下角 
正在用力的掙扎雙腳.
這畫透露的信息也是簡單鮮明的.


"我們都正自命不凡的生存著

許許多多驕傲的存在 
但你萬萬不會想過 
當你墜落的時候無論你多麼用力的掙扎 多麼無力的吶喊
正在專心耕耘的農夫 是不以為已的
不是農夫冷血而是驕傲的你、总以为自己是可以自立的

而最殘酷的事實是
主角不可能是因能飛翔而驕傲的你
却正是一直在默默耕耘的人

你的驕傲飛翔為你帶來的 
可能就只是一個不名幅其實的標題... 
像是這幅 "伊卡洛斯的墜落"









在一位中学旧朋友-谭生面子书上无意间看到这幅画。
觉得很有意思,
和大家分享 =)


做人做事,无论你站在高山还是山脚,
最重要是谦虚,
骄傲的人,永远只看到自己,想到自己。
往往看不到比你更优胜的人,
到最后在发现,原来主角一直以来,都不是你,
已经太迟了。

2012年9月24日星期一

一生的财富



人的身材和样貌会随着时间的流逝,
变得面目全非。
人的财产事业富贵会随着经济打击或各种因素,
变得一无所有。


但是一个人的智慧人格特质,
只要不停进步,
是你一生的财富。 





One's visage may getting aged by time, 
One's body figure may lose shape anytime ; 
One's wealthy and career may lost or deduct during economic crisis or any unexpected factors. 

but One's intelligent,mindset, personality, attitude and characteristic, 
would be ur lifetime ASSETS, 
if u keep them IMPROVE and INCREASE. 








MONEY could be THE SOURCE OF LIVING, 

but if u couldn't takes over control on MONEY rationally,
but let MONEY controlling u,
it could be a MURDERER,
and the ROOT of EVIL.





again, 

wish to repeat this again :
政治,
权力,

势力,
利益,
欲望,
金钱。

蒙骗了大部分的人,
把穷人变成了有钱人,
把正义变成邪恶,
把无名氏变成明星,

把想朝换代的人变成腐败的政治人员,
把好人变成坏人.


变质的人性,
如果你控制到它们,
却还能做回最原始最好的自己,
你就是赢家。



=)
 





P/s : 这篇文章的90%,
能够从自己的思维和能力写出来,
我真的觉得我有点厉害。
哈哈哈哈哈。



你把手上那一票,准备投给谁了?






" 这是什么烂政府!
水是人民基本的需求,

但是很可悲国阵却因为政治的利益,而牺牲人民的基本需求!

彭亨州务大臣拿督斯里安南耶谷说,

如果下届大选,雪州继续由民联执政,
彭亨州政府將考虑重新检討输水合约,
把目前彭亨州输水至雪州的费用从每立方米10仙提高到1令吉

他说,

雪州水供问题已被政治化,
彭亨州政府会深入研究有关输水合约细则,
甚至考虑终止彭亨输水至雪州的合约。

安南耶谷今日在文冬都赖路大草场为卫生部联同农业部联办的文冬农业土產展销会,

主持开幕仪式后,如是表示。

输水合约为国阵利器他说,

这也是国阵在大选时的重要武器
並有信心国阵在即將来临的大选重夺雪州。 "








在网上读了这则新闻。
讽刺的政府。
在国阵水深火热的情况下,
竟然还用到威胁这一招,
以为我们人民是愚蠢的,吃着你威胁长大的吗?

竟然因为政治的利益,而牺牲人民的基本需求。
放长双眼看你们怎样输到脱着裤子跑。







我帮他做part time sales的Megamate老板,
MR.Kevin是国政党派人员,代表霹雳怡保。
他看见我shared此新闻,
问到:

“ 如果是我代表国阵出来选。。。
你会支持我吗?。。。
要坦白和真心的。。。
会看谁是候选人还是总之是国阵的就反。。。。
想知道现在年轻人的心声 




听了他这么说,
我心想,好吧,既然你真的那么想知道年轻人的心声,
我就成全你吧。

我找了一些我认为很有潜质的拉曼大学生和他对话
因为我知道他们对政治比较了解,
也常常分享政治新闻,
是一班有想法的年轻人。
以下是部分对话:

















很刺激的一场政治舌战。

我们一直针对国政的弱点,
为什么我们选择给民联一个5年的机会证明 ,
尝试让他明白我们年轻一辈的想法;

另一方面,
MR.KEVIN则一直提出如果大马让PAS执政,
有机会变成回教国的威胁。





我说,
一个水塘里,有一百只鱼,其中80只中毒了,聪明主人已经想尽办法买antibiotic和很多的方法来救活他们,
给希望他们,他们却选择自杀,不要接受antibiotic.
结果聪明的主人只能牺牲整塘鱼,因为每只鱼都活在同一个水塘,
他已经不懂得分辨那80只和20只的分别,他们披着的都是同样的种和外皮。
怪只怪那20只无辜的鱼,活在同一个池塘。


当大部分的国政党员都已腐败,当我们在他们身上看不到希望,
只看到他们怎么伤害,和牺牲我们人民的利益,
看着那些可靠的数据证明 najib哥怎样sia sui我们人民和马来西亚的经济和未来,
我们有点智慧的人民都知道继续让国政统治马来西亚是一种愚蠢和自杀的行为。
我们实在没有办法不把手上的一票投给可以给我们希望的民联。
你问的好,为什么我们不清醒理智一点,投人不投党?
 因为投你的一票,就是帮助霹雳州国政的一票。 不是不要投个人表现票,
而是我们没有办法,以个人党员的表现, 而牺牲整个霹雳州的利益,牺牲大局。



总结来说, 
我们明白你的出发点,
你对LYNAS和428的不赞同和抗议 ,
甚至很想改变现况的想法,
但是既然你一个人的能力有限,因为你是国阵代表,总是被牵连在国阵做的丑事上,
也无法有力的反抗他们的所作所为,我们也只能投民联一票。



政治,
权力,
势力,
利益,
欲望,
金钱。
蒙骗了大部分的人,
把穷人变成了有钱人,
把正义变成邪恶,
把无名氏变成明星,
把想朝换代的人变成腐败的政治人员,
把好人变成坏人.
变质的人性,
如果你控制到它们,
却还能做回最原始最好的自己,
你就是赢家。
=)





before i end my "speech",
here comes a photo of DONUT as a good ending =D



2012年9月19日星期三

敢敢去拼啦,年轻人!

我很讨厌那些做决定要左斟右酌,
问东问西,怕左怕右,担心A又担心B的人。


 



那么笨,那么胆小!
  烦死了!
 



 小小决定,挫折和挑战都不敢面对,
以后出来做什么大事。

差!


敢敢去拼啊,年轻人!!!!!!!!


2012年9月17日星期一

LOVE is BLIND


When everyone are IN LOVED,
we are so BLIND to SEE all WEAKNESSES of our partner as STRENGTH,
so NUMBNESS to BELIEVE that LIES are TRUTH,
so STUPID to TRUST that EXPLANATION for NONSENSE is ACCEPTABLE.
 










 and when we are HEART BROKEN, BROKE UP,
and we recall all the things happened,
they FOOL us and they are so SELFISH ;
and we are so STUPID and NAIVE to BELIEVE that,

if we LOVE them, TRUST them,
be FAITHFULLY, we can get back the same from them, one day. 














 but, every bad thing was taking over by ur heart (LOVE),
than ur mind (INTELLIGENT and RASIONAL),

u r so BLIND so see everything rasionally.
 










 my advice  :




No mater how much u loved someone,
love urself more,
be concious and rasional,
protect urself from being hurt, fool, cheat and used.
BE SMART and LOVE URSELF more than anyone in the world =)


btw, FUCK all HEART BREAKER, LIAR, SELFISH PEOPLE,
get rid of me and all my friends/ family i cared.


FUCK U.











 regards,
gwen.











2012年9月11日星期二

Heart, tell everything.


today is the 22nd days of me and houman's relationship.
2 days ago,
i meet with Kayla and she is asking me did Houman ever told me,
why does he in love with me so much?

oh, and i realised i never ask him this question.
I meet him again at KL on sunday,
i took train here and we meet up.

My sem break was terrible,
and i decided to take some part time job,
i found one opportunity at KL kota damansara =)

Today is Monday,
i should start working today until this Sunday.
This Morning was awesome,
after a short briefing of my job,
he brought me to Mccafe.

MCCAFE is AWESOME !




this piece of double chocolate muffin is so yummy-licious =)
it is still hot and fresh while serving !


and this mocha is great too ! =)


by the way,
well, there is a group of production team there,
preparing to record a new commercial for SAMURAI Mcdonald Burger.
SERIOUSLY, there is a guy dressing like SAMURAI !

cant wait to watch the commercial =D






i am working as Nivea Promoter.
The part time job is......
i dunno if i should describe it as wonderful or reversely...





Imagine, i have NO SUPERVISOR there to stalk on me about my punctuality and sales =_=
IT IS GOOD, for me.
and i know myself,
i am a bad employee who sneak for lepak-ing around,
whenever, whereever i had a chance.

so, when i figured out that there is NO ONE who supervise on my work,
i lepak and i actually LEFT the working place, after an hour i been there =_=
Oh yeah, i am amazing , as usual =)




We went to Primo Bar (my bf's bar near my part time's working place, Giant),
and i received a msg from the so-called "supervisor" of mine abt 3.30pm:
"Today u can go back already since no stock in the store, 
but the salary is count for whole day for today."

DAMN, MY CURSE WORKS !
i worked for few hours (suppose is 12-9, but i worked for 1 hour and i left the working place),
and i get RM 105 today !
=D
*claps claps for my lovely monday*

at night, we walked around The Strand like wad we used to do when we are bored in his bar.


"so honey, can i ask a question ?"
"Honest, Mature, Understanding, Respectful, Humble."
"hemmm..."
"and also, u are not using me as a device like wad alot of women did...."
(yes, i know that i am nt a girl who takes advantages or used a man,
i cant, maybe i should, but i just cant. i am always the girl who being takes for granted by others.
hemmmm. i am a stupid women.)
"thanks honey..."

and i forwarded this answer to Kayla,
tat women asking me if i am drunk =_=
insane !



when we are home,
he revenge,
he asked me back :
"So honey, tell me, why do u love me ?"
My mind , is BLANK.
i never think abt this,
and i really dunno how to answer this.......
yes, why ? why do i love this man ?
i tried to switch to anther topic,
but he insisted want me to answer that...
"becoz, i am who i am in front of u"
(what ?! such a shallow answer ! )
and he start to show his dissatisfaction of my TOO SIMPLE answer...
i was UNABLE to continue.
i act like i am unhappy becoz he is complaining abt my answer,
and i told him i need to take a shower.

i went into the room,
and i laid on the bed,
i was so down in a sudden.

and my tear, dropped.
I MISS RIDA.
I MISS RIDA SO MUCH.
we never contact, since the day he said he dont want to know abt my life,
my new relationship anymore,
and wanted to delete me from his facebook.
(but i done it on him instead of him, before he had a chance to.
becoz i am really angry with him for dumping me like this)

i hate him so much,
but i really miss him so much.
most of my idleness time,
especially when i am driving,
he is running in my mind.
it makes me suffer, actually.

I love him too much,
i cant let go,
he found a new gf,
who he claimed that she is sweet, kind and good girl,
he said,
i were like her, and he hope i stay like a good girl.

so, do he mean that, he found someone like me ?
i HATE the feeling of being REPLACED.

i said,
"congrate..........."
 "all the best, i am happy that u found someone better. "
but deep inside my heart,
i dont bless u and ur new relationship.
i DONT !
I HATE U !

he is a guy that i NEVER UNDERSTAND HIS MIND, NEVER,
even-though sometimes i tried to put myself in his personality,
and try to figure out wad he will think in some situation or cases,
but i still doubt if he thinking the same, like what i think he think.

did he miss me like how i miss him,
eventhough i am now with another guy who love me so much ?
did he, still put me in the first place in his heart,
like how i reserved his 1st place my heart now ?

i think he dont..................................




my bf, love me so much.
i feel my guiltiness toward him,
after i finished writing this.




Gwen, u should not do tat.
Gwen.
STOP IT.



2012年9月4日星期二

Here come such a guy, in my life.





Here come such a guy, in my life.
so caring, sweet, and most importantly,
he really show his love to me, very much.

here goes, the story....









Rida gaves me a bad new on 16/08/2012,
is a thursday night.
i was sending my regards to him and his family at first,
and then my mind suddenly pushing me to ask him a question that i actually never want to know the answer.




"So, did u meet someone else?"
"haha..." "Yes"


"oo congrate..."
"thanks. what about u ?"


"no.""no reached ur expectation yet?"


"no one."
"i see..."


"so..."
"so..."

(again, my emotional not willing to accept the fact that he already answered me so clearly)

"hey, are u serious ?"
"yes, i am"


"ok.""i am sorry if i makes u feel bad or something"


"it did and it is NOT OK."
"why not ok ?"


"why should i be ok ?"
"it should not be ok or not ok,it should be normal, becoz life is going on.
last year u were dating someone else and i just accepted it.
so maybe u should do the same."

i cut off the conversation at facebook.
i closed it and i decided to go out.








i drink and party hard, everyday after tat day onward.
Thursday night,ZOUK,
Friday night,ZOUK,
Satuday night, ZOUK,
Sunday night, Drinking,
Monday night, Drinking,
Tuesday night, Drinking.

most of the time, i spend great time with Cheryl,
a girl who has some characteristic tat is similar with me :
out-going, socialize, talkative, friendly, warm and sweet.
i am glad to meet her at the right timing,
 when i need alot of alcohol and party instead of staying at home and cried ?
 (i never cried after he told me tat news.
this is the worst part, u hurt so deeply,
but u couldnt cried out at all. )


Tuesday night we went Movida sunway giza for 2nd round.
there was a foreign guy and an indian guy who sit nearest to our table,
was watching us all the time,
it is undeniable that Cheryl is a very charming and attractive girl,
when she dance in the club.
what i know is, shaking my ass, move like a dead snake. haha.
He gaves us his name card, i put it in my beg carefully.


When i was heading home,
i received this message :
"Dear Gwen, please whenever you reach home, please sms me."
i was thinking, who the fuck care what happened to u,
after meeting a new guy/ girl in a messy club ?
ok, maybe he did?
lets see.

i texted him, and we agree to come out for a dinner at iranian restaurant with Kayla,
my dear roomate as well.
we miss the iranian food that we had tried with Safa a month ago....
Kebab, Salad and etc...
Everything goes smoothly during the dinner.
he is so gentleman and steady.
before we finished our dinner, he ordered traditional tea of Iranian for us.


OMG, it is cute yellow candy stick,
to stir inside the hot tea,
makes it sweet, and drink it.
IT TASTE AWESOME.

followed by sending kayla home first,
and i go to his bar for a short chilling session.

Well.... why does everybody starring at me ? O_O
this is too weird. awkward.
The guitarist come over, whispering something to me:
"When u get the best car in the world, never look for a better one."
i replied him with a polite smile.
another girl come and tell me the similar story :
"you are the first girl he bring to his bar."

hemm, really?
i am so surprised and happy ^O^

btw, i love the way he being serious in front of his workers,
and turn into a kitten in front of me.
i am the boss ! haha !



the next day, he invited me to come to his bar again.
i was dinner-ing with Yanyee, i drove her to Paradigm mall to eat fish and co.
i told him to depart from his bar to my house,
only after i done the dinner and home.
"Halo, Houman, i juz finished the dinner, u can come now.."
"haha, i am already outside ur condo."

HOLY SHIT.
didnt i mentioned clearly that DEPART FROM UR PLACE when i said I AM READY ?!

anyway...
i prefer people to wait for me then i wait for them.
HOHO.

1st, get into his car with yanyee ,
asking him if he can bring her home?
he said : YES. ( he has no reason to said no, haha)
2nd, there is a pack of thing on my seat...
"it is for u."
GOSH, is the CANDY SWEET of iranian TEA!
kayla want it so much !
he is sweet, really.

3rd, it was cold in the bar,
i have a normal reaction when i am cold,
rub my arm..
"gives me 1 minute, i take the jacket for u"
and there goes a jacket for me with the smell of his perfume.
PERFECT.


Friday, suppose to be the last day of my internship program,
but i ended it on Thursday and promise him to go for a short trip with him at Port Dickson.
i makes sandwich for him and myself ...
a great short trip with sunshine and good mood.
meet some nice iranian people there, who pass us some food too.
=)
WONDERFUL.

 heading back KL at 3 something,
the Sun is burning me at my passenger seat...
HOT........
all of a sudden, he stopped his car,
takes a shirt from the boot of car, cover the window with the shirt,
so that i wont get tanned.
THIS GUY COULD DO EVERYTHING FOR ME.
EVERYTHING.

Saturday evening, i was signing out from my room.
before i leaves KL,
he passed me something mean SO MUCH to a girl, like me.
HIS HOUSE KEY.
this mean SO MUCH TO ME.
A PROMISE, A COMMITMENT.


i went bck kampar and ipoh few days for my presentation and etc...
and i am back to KL to meet him again,
we are going to attend a friend bday's party at a german restaurant on Saturday Night.

i feel that i am going to sick soon, while i was eating my dinner..
it should taste good, but i cant even finished 1/4 portion of it =[

YES, i really SICK, FEVER, FLU, COUGH , NO APPETITE and also VOMIT the day after.
He brought me to doctor,
and takes very good care of me from head to toe.
Seriously, i am not KIDDING.
FROM HEAD TO TOE!
using wet tower on my forehead,
using another wet tower to low down the temperature of my legs and foot.
i was so sick, but i remember he never sleep tat night.
Monday, i started to heard his coughing...
i guess the virus attack him after me.

i saw he turn into red eye monster on tuesday,
the day i think i feel better.
his eye is red, his body is weak, he look tired.
a guy who scarified his own health, for me.



i wrote this, when i recover from my sickness.
i feel better now.
but in deep inside,
i am thinking something else.


"谈过太多太多次的恋爱,
对爱这种东西,
更模糊不清。

和一个人在一起,
究竟是因为真的爱他,
还是纯粹的觉得有个人对你很好很好,就接受?

经历太多太多,
永远也找不回那种单纯的爱。
=)"


你伤害了我 我何尝不是在伤害他 
我不知道我爱不爱他,

但是我接受了他。
  人原来都是在互相伤害 恶性循环
我们都是恶魔
  此刻 我是平静的 
  为了所爱的人改变 是如此不知不觉的
  我想我不再爱你了
  我应该爱上面前的那个男人




他对我很好很好。
愿意为我做任何事。
 这一刻 竟觉得有点对不起他
但是我可以感觉到我的心,
还没有能力打从心里无怨无悔的去爱这个人。。



真爱自己的人未必是陪伴自己一生的人,
最后和我们结婚的 未必是我们最爱的人。


我,和一个我不爱,但对我很好很好的男人一起。
也许,这样对我们大家都好。